3 Things Your Son Needs from his Father
…and if he doesn’t get them from you ?
…he WILL get them somewhere else.
- from his friends.
- or from his electronic media.
- from YouTube, internet, movies.
- or from reality shows. That’s scary.
Your son needs these 3 things from his father.
Here they are — 3 things your son …
… needs from his father.
- Your son nEEds to sEE you lead.
- Your son nEEds to sEE how you fail.
- Your son nEEds to sEE you love his mother.
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(1) – Your son needs to see you lead.
Real leaders are servants. Servants lead by serving others.
- Leaders eat last – link to Simon Sinek
- Leaders are readers – link to Michael Hyatt blog
- Leaders lead from the front AND by example.
Hey, you might act like the boss at work. And you might not.
But you still need to be the leader of your family. And your son needs to see REAL leadership in your home.
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If he doesn’t learn from you, he will learn leadership somewhere else from somebody else.
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Not Taught but Caught
Leadership is NOT TAUGHT from the couch or by just long, boring talks.
Leadership is CAUGHT by example.
When your son sees leadership by serving, by example, by leading from the front; he will be better equipped to to understand leadership.
Dad, your son will become a better leader of his peers instead of being easliy manipulated by crowd mentality.
And your son will be a more effective follower when needed.
Real leaders know how to follow when necessary.
As he matures, your son will become a better leader at school, at church, at work and in his community. That is, if …
… if his father teaches leadership by example.
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(2) – Your son needs to see you fail
…and how you fail, not just how you succeed.
EVERYBODY has practiced their “end zone victory dance.” Even if only in their minds. But NOT EVERYBODY knows how to process a “failure.”
That is, process a failure as a learning event.
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Overcoming Failure
Your son needs to practice how to overcome failure. Life will hand your son many more failures than successes.
If you are a professional baseball player and your batting average is 300, our world considers you successful and pays you well. This means you have only succeeded 3 times out of 10 “at bats.”
And you have failed 7 times out of 10.
Life hands us many more failures than successes.
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Your son needs to learn how to process – and succeed – from his failures.
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Learn from Failures
Teach your son how to learn from his failures. By your example.
Your son needs to learn from you about failure. How to recover. How to re-evaluate and try again. Try again. But differently.
He needs to learn how to “re-frame his failures as learning experiences.” By seeing you learn from a perceived failure.
By your example, your son will learn how to make mistakes. He will learn, “It is OK to make mistakes.”
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the son who is NOT afraid
Your son needs to learn from his father how…
- to take on challenges that are beyond his skill set.
- to stretch himself without the fear of failure.
- to try new things for the sake of trying new things – without having an invisible score card that will record every attempt as a failed attempt.
A son who is NOT AFRAID of new challenges will become a man who is NOT AFRAID of new challenges. And will learn how to learn from his own mistakes. Not every event in life has a “pass-fail” metric attached to it.
“A SON who is NOT AFRAID of new challenges will become a MAN who is NOT AFRAID of new challenges.” – America’s GRUMPiest Grandpa
Some things in life are worth trying just for the fun of trying.
Without the fear of “failing.”
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(3) – Your son needs to SEE you love his mother.
This is critical. Your son may have no other examples of real love in his life.
Your son needs to see you love his mother.
This will teach him how to treat all the women in his life.
Your son needs to SEE LOVE in action.
Love in action EVERY day.
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I mean like love like 1 Corinthians 13 – even if you don’t believe in the Bible. It is still the best definition (bar none) of love I have EVER heard.
- Love is patient.
- Love is kind.
- Love does not envy.
- Love does not boast.
- Love is not proud.
- Love is not easily angered.
- Love keeps no record of wrongs.
- Love always protects,
- always trusts,
- always hopes, and
- always perseveres. (NIV – New International Version)
“And real love doesn’t sit on the couch watching ESPN while his mom prepares supper.”– (Grandpa’s Version)
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Leadership in ALL Areas
Your son needs to SEE this kinda love from his father.
The man who really loves your son’s mother wears an apron in the kitchen and washes dishes after supper WITH his children.
Loving your son’s mother means taking a leadership role in all areas of the home.
Remember, leaders lead from the front and by example. Not from the couch.
Your son needs to see this kinda REAL love from his father.
What your son sees in you is teaching him how to treat all the women that he will meet in his life.
“Every moment his father has with his mother is a teaching moment for your son.” – America’s GRUMPiest Grandpa
While you are loving your son’s mother, he is learning how to treat his future wife. And is establishing a foundation for all future love relationships – children, siblings, grandparents.
By your example, your son is learning how to have healthy relationships with co-workers and employees.
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These are the 3 things your son nEEds
… from his father. He NEEDS to see …
(1) – needs to SEE you LEAD,
(2) – needs to SEE how you FAIL, and
(3) – needs to SEE you to LOVE his mother.
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You get to choose.
It’s your move, dad !!!
Will your son get what he needs from you ?
Or from his friends and all of his electronic media – internet, YouTube, videos and movies ? And those unreal reality shows.
You get to choose.
It’s your move, dad !!!
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