Category Archives: Family Time

I spent another boring morning at Walmart, but. . .

. . . but boring can be good.

No, boring is BEAUTIFUL. Let me explain.

This morning was another normal Monday morning at WalMart doing grocery shopping for my 93-year-old mother, Ms, Victoria. Also known as America’s Most Favorite 93-Year-Old Podcaster.

This morning was boring grocery shopping, walking down the same aisles in the same order, using almost the same list EVERYweek.

But it is a BEAUTIFUL, almost mindless event. Keeping routine tasks routine.

Not using any mental energy to get a weekly, routine task done. No reason to use any creative energy.

Actually shopping online at WalMart may be even better.

But my point is: I didn’t waste any of my valuable creative energy doing a routine task.

Just like your morning routine.

Why do you make unnecessary decisions in the morning?

Like what to wear, or what time to get out of bed, fighting the snooze button, or packing your backpack and computer in the morning.

When you are making unique decisions EVERY morning for doing routine tasks, you are wasting creative energy. And you may reach a point of decision fatigue early in your morning.

Just keep routine tasks – routine.

And mindless. Like getting out of bed at the same time EVERY morning at 5:15 a.m. Like having a routine for your spiritual time and thoughts to embed them in your brain.

So you can pray and meditate during your morning run. Be on the street / track / whatever / running at 5:25 a.m. At the same time EVERY morning.

All done in a seamless routine.

Showered and ready to rule the world by 6:30 a.m. at the coffee shop with your laptop.

And by 6:30 a.m. your brain is already programmed for creating content? Or working your social media properties to promote your business / church / organization? Writing your daily blog?

Whatever your normal work routine is.

Then you are free to create and think without being hampered by decision fatigue. Thanks to some pre-planned boring routines.

No decision-making in the morning. Before you start your creative work.

Starting your day with routine habits that you have chosen to daily create that physically and spiritually fit person you want to be.

And using routines to free your brain for creating and thinking.

And not using any energy to make daily routine decisions that could be made in advance.

Then your brain is available at full capacity to do your core tasks that require clear thinking and mental energy. During the sweet spot of creatively and production early in your day.

Because you haven’t wasted any of your superpowers on something as routine as grocery shopping or deciding what time to get out of bed or what to wear.

Use routines to the max like high performers do.

And save your creative energy for important tasks like high performers do.

That why we call them high performers.

Success leaves clues.

All slushies taste better after. . .

It was the Championship Match. The last match of a long, hot day.

It was the final match of the 3-on-3 soccer tournament played on small fields with small goals.

Fast paced and exhausting. On small fields, no mistake is forgiven. Each defensive mistake results in a goal for the other team.

The regulation match had just ended. The match was tied at four (4) goals each.

Now they were playing in the Golden Goal Overtime which means the team which scores the first goal wins the championship. That final goal is called the Golden Goal.

This was the fifth match of the day for both teams. So all players had exhausted bodies and tired minds.

Parents of players always focus on the goals.

But the experienced players and the soccer aficionados focus on fast transitions and forcing defensive mistakes by the other team.

And then it happened. After just 24 seconds of play in the 3 minute Overtime Period.

One small misstep during a transition from offense to defense. One undetectable hesitation, a 6-inch error which created a New York nanosecond opportunity (just a sliver of time and space) for the offensive player. And then. . .

Shot.

The Golden Goal.

Championship.

Whistle blows.

The final result. After all players had played hard and smart all day.

As in many championship matches of life, BOTH TEAMS deserved to win.

But just ONE team gets the Championship Trophy.

Based on one small, unnoticed defensive error measured in just inches and a fraction of a second.

And it was not the player’s fault. Just a really exhausted body and a tired mind.

The Life Lesson: Life isn’t always fair. Maybe?

But here’s a more relevant lesson in the decade of 2020.

Ya gotta transition fast.

Ya gotta pivot. Fast. And often.

Ya gotta move from an offensive field position to a defensive field position. Fast. And often.

And again. And then once more. Until the whistle blows in whatever game you are playing today.

At the beginning of the Championship Match one parent mentioned, “The players are just focused on ‘slushies’ after the game.”

But all slushies taste better after winning the Championship Match.

Now that sounds like the real life lesson.

Enjoy your slushie today.

* * * * * * * *

Bonus Lesson

After the Championship Match, BOTH TEAMS showed the appropriate respect for their opponent. A refreshing site to behold.

The one who fails the most wins.

You read that right.

If ya wanna win, you gotta fail. And fail a lot.

When you see someone’s six (6) seconds of fame on YouTube, you haven’t seen the sixteen (16) years of back-to-back failures.

You haven’t seen that elite athlete running at 5:00 a.m.

Running alone.

Running in the dark.

Running alone in the dark in the rain. Temp at 38 degrees.

Wearing their reflective vest in the cold. In the heat and unbearable humidity with the temp at 93 and “feels like” 104 degrees.

You have not seen that elite performer (star athlete or violin virtuoso) when they said “no” to four offers per week from friends saying “let’s go hang out.”

You haven’t seen the “back story” of the writer who has written daily EVERY morning before her husband and children are out of bed for nine (9) years straight before that ONE (lucky) blog post went viral.

Or that global thought leader who has published a Facebook LIVE video daily for three years EVERY day before they had 1,000 views on ONE video.

In baseball, more “at bats” means more opportunities for a base hit. And more “at bats” means more opportunities for “strike outs.”

Those who WIN the most have the most FAILures.

Those who win the most take the most risks of not being appreciated, of not being recognized.

Those who win the most take the most risks of being criticized.

I coach people to use social media to make an impact.

And the most frequent objection I hear is “fear” in hundreds of different ways.

I’m not good enough, funny enough.

I look fat in videos. I get nervous on video and stumble over my words.

The biggest fear people have is not looking good enough. Not performing well enough.

The biggest fear is the fear of being criticized by your peers (who, by the way, are sitting on the sidelines criticizing while you are in the arena performing).

Those performing in the arena have the same fears as the sideline spectators.

But their passion is bigger than their fear.

And you – the performer in the arena, the winner – are willing to fail more often than you win.

And this is why you win.

What happens when your computer gets wonkie?

When my computer gets wonkie, I get frustrated. I say some things. Some stupid, angry things.

But then I hear a voice that says. “If I called my friend, that geek friend, what would she say?”

That’s right. Ask, “What would my geek friend say to do?”

That geek friend would say.

R.E.B.O.O.T!!!

Just REBOOT that computer BEFORE you throw your mental tantrum.

I’ve had this experience many times. My computer starts moving slowly. The screen starts freezing. And the speed is painfully slow.

Just REBOOT that techno thing. Before you smack the screen.

This doesn’t always fix everything. But often this does fix the “slow and freezing action.” And rebooting gives me a small break – a brief and needed pause from my anger – from my impatient insanity.

Why not treat yourself to a personal reboot today? Even more than once today?

What does a personal reboot look like?

It looks like this.

Write, study, work for 50 minutes. Then go outside for a 10 minute walk. Just do it.

I just did.

You’ll get more done in the next 50 minutes. Instead of just grinding and grinding some more. How about a quick personal reboot?

Give yourself the gift of rebooting several times today.

Take care of your inner mental chips before they get fried.

Refresh your OS (Operating System) with a quick personal reboot.

Reboot. And reboot often.

It’s quick and easy.

And it works.

What does racial reconciliation really look like?

On a podcast today, we talked about racial reconciliation – PJ Charles, Geoffrey Harris and myself.

Racial reconciliation from the perspective of God’s Love.

What is it? How does it look? And how do you find a lasting solution in a 40-minute podcast?

Well, you can’t reach an adequate solution in just one conversation. Racial controversy is a multi-generational and multi-layered issue that goes deep into our hearts and is embedded into our memories.

Let’s not kid ourselves. One well-meaning conversation is just a beginning.

But it is a beginning. And it is an example of what we should be discussing with our friends of all colors and with our children.

We need to start having these conversations regardless of how messy they are. Regardless if these conversations feel like they are never finished.

Let’s have these conversations that do not have a clearly defined end game. But end feeling incomplete. These are the tough and important conversations we need to have.

Big issues are not resolved with Executive Orders and new laws.

This big issue – racial reconciliation – is a heart issue and will take time.

And time takes time.

The beginning for me is to recognize that I have blind spots. And it will take many uncomfortable conversations for me to see my blind spots even before I admit them.

Blind spots – we can’t see what we don’t see. And we don’t know what we don’t know.

That’s where I am starting. I’m starting with these messy conversations with friends of all colors and backgrounds.

So that I can do one thing – recognize my blind spots.