If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree …
… it will live its WHOLE LIFE believing that it is stupid. – Albert Einstein
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Did you know … ?
So you know a fish that cannot climb a tree,
… and you call HIM stupid ?
Maybe you don’t do this, but others do. They call a fish stupid just because he can’t climb a tree — and you allow them to say this.
Or you are just not aware.
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The real question is …
My question is: WHO is really stupid in this picture ?
You — or the fish that can’t climb a tree ?
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its WHOLE LIFE believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
We call people stupid quickly.
We judge people quickly. Just because they can’t “climb a tree.” Just because they can’t do something everyone else can do.
Or because they can’t do it as fast.
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Or because they do it differently than you do it.
If someone with no legs entered a marathon and finished in last place, would you call her a poor runner ?
Would you criticize her ?
Would you berate her for finishing last ?
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No, we would create a YouTube video.
No, we would hire an army of videographers equipped with GoPro Hero cameras running beside her. And we would create a YouTube video about how brave and courageous this person is.
We would add some inspiring music. In the video we would embed quotes from great leaders and athletes. We would post this video to our YouTube channels and promote this video via Facebook, Google+, and twitter. We would create a Vimeo version of this video.
We would email this inspiring blogpost with the video to our friends and subscriber list. And we would encourage all of our friends to watch the video of this amazing athlete finishing a 26.2 mile run with no legs. Or artificial legs.
AND finishing in last place.
She still finished in last place.
We would applaud her efforts. We would be inspired as we watch this video accumulate 1 million views the first day. And then 17 million views by the end of the week.
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And, remember, this runner finished in LAST PLACE in a marathon – clearly a very poor performance. According to our standards.
- Would we berate her for not training adequately ?
- Would we criticize here for lack of effort ?
- Would we say that she is an embarrassment to our family ?
- Would we constantly remind her that she finished in last place ?
- Especially after the family spent all that time and money on her training ?
- Would we shout in her face and remind her that everyone else’s best effort was better than her effort ?
No, we would NOT do any of those derogatory things. I HOPE no one would do that. Few people are that insensitive.
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No one is that unaware of this runner’s personal challenges.
- Would we ever berate an employee with less talent who underperforms ? Some of you would.
- Would we ever scold and berate a child who learns in a different way or at a different rate ? Unfortunately, some of us do.
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“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
This is very sad. But I have seen parents and others who do the same thing with children who learn differently. And treat these children like they are inadequate. And use the words “stupid” and “retarded.”
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Run, Forrest, Run !!!
In the 50’s when I was attending elementary school and a student learned differently, they were treated as if they were stupid and called different versions of the word stupid (dumb, retarded, slow, dense, unintelligent). Other children actually called them “retards.” And before all of today’s special testing, we know that some of these students did have undiagnosed learning disabilities (The movie character, Forrest Gump, is a vivid illustration of how children were treated in the 50’s and 60’s).
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What are the negative results of a dunce hat?
The educational system placed them (the fish that couldn’t climb a tree) in the corner and put a “dunce hat” on them.
The teacher would draw a circle on the blackboard and have this student stand with his nose in the center of the circle on the blackboard.
What a sad public display of bullying via embarrassment.
I still wonder how some of these children survived. Some didn’t survive.
One of my elementary grade classmates didn’t survive. He killed himself in the 50’s. I was young and don’t recall all of the details, but this is what I do remember. On the weekend, when no one was at school, he stood on a shopping cart, pushed it away and hung himself from a tree in the school yard.
No one knows the whole story about this young boy. In those days, the police did not investigate the suicide deaths of young children. Especially a young boy of a high profile family in the community.
After all of our training and education, we believe we have evolved in our attitudes towards different styles of learning. But we haven’t yet.
Imagine if you are a young child, and you are berated by an authority figure (parent, grandparent, teacher, coach) because you can not perform well in a certain environment.
You quickly start believing this false information about your abilities. You believe that you are stupid, and you believe the rest of the world is better than you. After age 7, the experts say this becomes that child’s view of themselves. Forever.
And this self perception will change only slightly over the course of a lifetime.
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Unfortunately, I have seen this happen.
You need to ask yourself — I need to ask myself: have I ever been guilty of this kind of treatment ? In some way I believe we all have done this – due to lack of patience.
Or we have just focused our anger on a child because we had a bad day.
- Have you ever observed a child being berated because his best effort was not adequate per the expectations of the parent ?
- In school work or in sports ?
- Have you ever seen a child berated to the point of tears and beyond ?
- Have you ever seen this behavior by an overbearing parent at a sporting event ?
- Or a by coach ?
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Remember, these experiences of a young child stay in their memories forever.
So a young child is berated and scolded. Just because he learns differently. Just because he is a FISH WHO CANNOT CLIMB A TREE.
He is scolded to the point of tears because his BEST EFFORTS did not equal the best efforts of his classmates or teammates. And did not meet someone’s expectations.
What is your child’s best effort ?
Exactly what is your child’s best effort ?
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Let’s talk about your child’s best effort. What is your child’s best effort ? If you and I learn in the traditional (whatever that is) fashion, how would we know what a child’s best effort is ?
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We don’t know.
We only know what our best effort is with our skill set.
If you and I have two legs, how would we know what it is like to walk or run (or drive a car) without legs ? Or “be a fish who is expected to climb a tree ?”
We just do not know how this feels.
When I was younger, I did not understand old people’s slow pace of walking. I spent some time judging and criticizing these old people. And, of course, how these old people drive.
Now I move very slowly with a cane. I don’t believe I’ll be running a marathon this year. But if you want to judge old people based on your running skill sets, then please do so.
I’m just another fish who cannot climb a tree. Or who cannot run a marathon today.
If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
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Here’s the point of Einstein’s quote.
If you and I are NOT fish, how can we understand a fish trying to climb a tree ? We cannot.
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What if your child is NOT athletic?
If one child is more athletic than another child, do we still berate the unathletic child ? I have seen some parents still scold for “underperformance.” What if that child is a “fish trying to climb a tree.“
How do we know what that child’s best performance really is ?
Thankfully, some of us have grown mentally and emotionally over time. Some have not.
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Do you have a “non tree climbing fish” in your family ?
If we have a “fish” in our family who can not climb trees, instead let’s think about their swimming talents. Let’s be grateful that we have a good “swimmer” in our family. And not a tree climber.
Let’s celebrate their difference.
Our creator entrusted us with the task of caring for and nourishing a “fish” in the family – not a tree climber. We don’t know what their special “swimming” skill is yet. But let’s not kill the spirit of the fish before she discovers her “swimming” skills.
Let’s be encouragers of her special talents.
Thank God for different thinkers. Thank God for Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson.
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Embrace their inner fish
And embrace their inner fish – whatever hidden talent that is. And be grateful that someone did not label you as a “stupid retarded fish” who could not climb a tree.
These negative labels kill the spirits of young children. Destroyed spirits that cannot be revived.
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Just another fish …
I still remember that day – 58 years ago – when I heard my classmate had killed himself by hanging himself from a tree. Somehow that tree in the country school yard wasn’t fun to climb anymore.
I guess he was just another fish who couldn’t climb a tree.
What can you do with this information ?
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Create RADICAL change.
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- Create RADICAL change.
- RADICAL change at home.
- At school.
- On the sports field.
- Protect those “fish who cannot climb a tree.”
- Reward those special talents that make them fish.
- Reward those who think differently.
- Be grateful for the nerd in your family.
- Be grateful for the athlete in your family.
- Be grateful for the artist in your family.
- Be grateful for the day dreamer in your family.
- Celebrate the different one.
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