take your life back

take your life back

so ya say…

“i wanna take my life back. i want my dreams back. i want my passions back. i want those great dreams that were stolen from me. i want them all back.”

no one will give them to you. you must take your dreams back.

you gotta TAKE your life back. 

to take your life back, ya better get ready for…

…change. messy, tough, sometimes painful change.

you are where you are in life based on the sum total of decisions you have made. and decisions you chose NOT to make.

so if you want your life back. ya gotta TAKE it back. and be ready for change and massive amounts of action.


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(1) first, let’s talk about your WHY.

ya gotta have a big enough WHY to carry you through those tough times. what is your WHY?

is your WHY big enough? big enough to carry you when you want to quit. is it big enough for times when people – close friends – laugh at you? sad but true. some friends will laugh at you when you tell them about your big dreams.

if your WHY doesn’t make you cry, it’s not big enough.

your WHY needs to be bigger and scarier than your fears.

your WHY needs to be bigger and scarier than your friends skepticism.

someday everyone will say either…

“i’m glad i did,” or “i wish i had.”

which will it be for you?

some people will die with their music inside of them. so sad.

remember, the life you lead is the legacy you leave. and your legacy will have a generational ripple effect. that lasts much longer than just your lifetime. good or bad.

ya gotta have a BIG WHY. bigger than your fears. and bigger than you.

if God gave you this WHY, have faith that God will guide you to your WHY.

God will keep you on track. It’s a guarantee from the bible. read it here

(2) get ready to get meSSy.

things are gonna get meSSy. you may start and stop and fail. and start again.

Have a meSSy Christmas. Just say NO to Pinterest-Perfect.

while you are making gigantic commitments. and working longer and harder and smarter at your career and personal goals. while you are working hard, not everyone will share your enthusiasm. because they like the “normal” you. they are intimidated by the new and changing you.

friends (close friends) and family may try to sabotage your success. they may not embrace your changing habits. and may minimize your small successes just when you need some encouragement.

you may need to delete some toxic friends. and delete some of your toxic habits.

meSSy changes get ugly sometimes.

you’ll need a support group. like a church, a 12-step group, a mentor, or another person like you who wants to take their life back. or all of these. 

ask a friend about the time when they tried to quit drinking or smoking. not everyone supported their decision. people are afraid when you start reaching for your dreams. again. 

your friends are used to the old you. they may be uncomfortable with the new you. and feel threatened by the new you.

have some grace with yourself.

messy means you are allowed to fail and call that failure an event – a failed attempt. but you are not a failure.

you just fell like a baby taking their first steps. that’s all. one fall. one failed attempt. but you are not a failure. 

(3) ya gotta grind…

…if ya wanna take your life back.

ya gotta grind EVERYday to change habits so you can get your dreams back.

grinding ain’t pretty. i call it – “chop wood and carry water.”

the Buddha said, “on the way to enlightenment, you chop wood and carry water.” simple and profound. but NOT EASY. 

so chop wood and carry water.

you make those sales calls. you practice those free throws. you run those extra miles at the end of the practice. you make one more phone call at the end of the day. you grind while others are resting.

wanna know more about grinding? talk to a single parent.

talk to my daughter, laurie, a single parent raising three children and handling a stressful career and going to school herself.

respect the 10,000 hour rule.

do you want to be considered an expert in one area? then dedicate at least 10,000 hours to your desired specialty. and wait for someone else (not you) to call you a leader, an expert.

grinding (for 10,000 hours) is messy and does not look pretty. grinding looks like blisters on your feet and tired eyes after a very long day.

and talk to an elite athlete. and let her tell you her story about grinding. for example, four soccer practices per day in college. making (not just shooting) 100 three-pointers AFTER practice. after EVERY practice. grinding until you are exhausted. and then you grind some more. one more phone call. starting that online class assignment at 10:30 p.m. after you have helped your three children with their homework. and they are finally in bed. 

grinding hurts. 

grinding is messy. grinding hurts. grinding is blisters on your hands and bloody feet. this is how grinding feels.

this is grinding. others don’t do it because grinding hurts. and is messy. but you do it because you have a BIG WHY. and you’re not afraid anymore of getting messy. 

if you’re a grinder, nobody has to tell you what to do.

your why actually makes you cry. your why is now bigger than your fears. and feels hotter than your blistered hands.

you want easy? no, you want real. 

grinding is the opposite of buying that course called “5 Easy Steps to a Better You.” maybe your friend bought that course. and they sell lots of those courses.

“5 EASY Steps to Anything” is a lie. and you know better.

now you want change that sticks.


ok. you’re at a crossroads.

what is true

this is your moment of truth.

if you do nothing, things will only get worse. 

you said you want this. you said you want change.

you want to take your life back.

you are worth it.

be ready for…

  • (1) a BIG WHY
  • (2) getting meSSy
  • (3) grinding and then grinding some more.

change is meSSy, sometimes painful. but change is worth it.

and you’re worth it.

start writing about your BIG WHY

share this with a friend so you can do this together.

(1) – ask your friend, “when is the last time you were grinding and got messy?”

simple notebOOk and BIG why

and (2) – a question for you: “what is your BIG why?”

now start writing about your BIG WHY. get meSSy and gr-r-r-r-rind.

god speed, friend.


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ya gotta have a BIG why
ya gotta have a BIG why